Sunday, October 28, 2012

Dead Last

I ran in a race on Friday (two days ago) and it's taken me all weekend to decide that I would blog about it. Originally I thought to myself, "This is so embarrassing. There is no way I'm posting this for the whole world to see." Well, now I'm looking at it differently.

Ok, so. Friday was the Buffalo Wild Wings 5k for St. Jude and the best friend and I decided it would be great practice for the big race coming up. It was a night race which I thought would be great since I'm used to running at night. We got there and got all signed up and I got NERVOUS. Not really sure why, but I did. So we get outside to start the race, get a little instruction from the sponsor and then we're off. There was a little bit of confusion in the beginning as to where the actual start of the race was, so there was a lot of starting and stopping on our part. We finally get going and I'm doing well at first. We decided to start in the back just because we're not pro racers and it seemed most people there were. Plus I'm slow, so it just seemed like a good place to start. That just meant that from the start of the race we had the last police escort on our tails the whole time. That's a little intimidating. :) At one point I slowed way down for whatever reason. I just remember telling my friend that she didn't have to slow down with me and just to go on. Looking back, I probably should have stayed with her. I got to the halfway point and there were only two people behind me. TWO. And then the police escort car. At that point I lost it. I just gave up. I was embarrassed, discouraged, just stopped running. I walked the rest of the race. The two ladies behind me caught up and walked with me. (They were so nice, by the way, and didn't even make fun of me for crying...haha!) I got almost to the end and friend was waiting for me and walked in with me. Then I looked up and here came two other people I knew from running that also finished it out with me. (P.S. that's one thing I love about the running world. SO supportive!) One of the girls that came back to finish it with me probably won the whole race but she was still there to encourage people the rest of the way. The other person was my coach's husband. I just remember him saying, "It doesn't matter how you run the race. All that matters is how you look crossing the finish line." That may have gotten a tiny laugh out of me. Then we ran across the finish line, where my running coach was.

Y'all, I came in last place. DEAD LAST. I've run 3 miles plenty of times but it just wasn't happening this night. At that point, I was done. No more running. I was ready to sell my spot in the half marathon and be done. I've participated in a ton of 5k's, even as a walker, and had never in my life come in last place. I was devastated! I cried all the way home. The entire next day it was on my mind. Still so embarrassed and so devastated.

Today I've turned that around some how, and I'm glad I have. I'm glad I waited until now to post in my blog. I've turned the devastation into determination. I'm using this experience to push on. In fact, I'm already signed up for another race this weekend.

I'm glad I'm feeling better about it. Just hope I can keep up the positive attitude! Besides, if anyone can ROCK last place it's me, right?!


Monday, October 15, 2012

When does it "click"?

I can't believe I'm going to run a half marathon in a month and a half! 

It's been a while since my last blog post, so I felt like I needed to post something.  I don't really have any updates on my distances.  My hip is finally feeling much better.  Whatever was going on there REALLY slowed down my training, so I'm a bit behind.  I should be running 8 miles by now and I'm not, but that's ok.  8  That's a lot! 

Running is still SO hard for me.  I feel like I keep waiting for that moment when it just "clicks."  I've heard so much about that moment...but haven't exactly gotten there yet.  I definitely have times where I want to get out there and do it.  I sort of crave a run, but when I get out there it's still so hard.  Every time I go out it's still a struggle.  Whether it's a short run or a long run, it's always tough.  But what is it they say?  If it was easy everyone would do it, right? 

When did it "click" for you?  Or did it ever?  Anybody else feel like I do?